Stepping out of the box

What would you say if I told you that you could have pretty much anything you wanted to have in life? (I say “pretty much” because can no one can have absolutely everything.) You can you know. The secret is to allow it to take shape in the way it’s going to take shape. It just may not look how you thought it would look. What I mean is this. Most often, when we set our sights on what we want, we envision exactly how we want it to be. Now, that’s not a bad thing. It’s actually a really good start. Something to aim for. The problems arise when we hold steadfastly to that vision and don’t allow it to morph and take shape given the circumstances of our lives. Our new job MUST pay X amount of dollars, our new love interest MUST have X physical attributes, our new home MUST be a single family 3-bedroom house with a pool, our health problems MUST completely recover and go into remission. We tell ourselves that this is the way it must be and anything less won't do. In so doing, we put ourselves into a box of our own making, without even realizing it. The very vision, turns into our constraint if we aren’t careful.

What happens if instead, you allow yourself to set a goal and then make choices along the way based on what is presented to you. You get offered a decent new job that doesn’t pay as much as you would have liked, but will lead to new opportunities if you stick with it. You meet a man/woman who looks completely different than you had envisioned, but is considerate and kind to you, so you go on another date and find out more. You search for that 3 bedroom house with a pool and find you can’t afford it, so you allow yourself to consider a 3 bedroom condo with a nice community pool, just out of curiosity. You discover your back still hurts if you do certain things, so you allow yourself to do daily excises and experiment with finding things you can still do. Instead of rejecting these new options off-hand as not what you had originally wanted, be open to the possibilities of what may be available to you at this point in your life, without judgment. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…it’s our judgments that get in our way…it’s our judgments and expectations that put us into our own boxes. Something is only "bad" or "not right", if we tell ourselves it is. By letting go of the judgments and allowing yourself to consider alternatives you open the side of the box and you are no longer constrained; you are free to have just about anything you want. You can enjoy your life, if only you allow yourself. We often resist this openness out of fear of loss of control, the truth is, once we are aware of the constraints and allow ourselves to consider new options, we often feel liberated. What we thought was control was constraint instead! So why not just let your thoughts be thoughts, and not your obstacles. Allow yourself to explore your options in life with curiosity and wonder.

So if you find yourself feeling trapped, constrained, stuck or frustrated, maybe ask yourself, “am I considering all the options?” Be thoughtful and aware. Allow yourself to be curious about how things might look if you allowed yourself to look at it another way. You're just considering the alternatives after all. Then, most importantly, listen to that inner voice of yours. It may just be trying to tell you what you need to hear...step out of the box...you can have most anything you want...it may just look a little different than you had originally thought...

Be happy and well,
Sari Roth-Roemer